Monthly Archives: December 2011

Bathing Suits for Large Bottoms: A Sin to Show Too Much Skin?

Bathing Suits for Large Bottoms:  A Sin to Show Too Much Skin?

 

Wow.  You need to look at bathing suits for large bottoms, because you have a large bottom, and you see some very revealing, very sexy bathing suits for large bottoms.  You can’t help but wonder, though, if it’s a sin to show too much skin.  How much is too much?  Well, totally naked would probably be too much.  Half naked, also.  Half naked as in wearing a bathing suit bottom and no top, or wearing a bathing suit top and no bottom.  In that case you’re not actually wearing a bathing suit; you’re wearing a bra or panties.  If the bathing suit for large bottoms has holes cut through to see your cheeks, that is probably too much skin.  Perhaps not for some, of course.  What guy wouldn’t think it great to see bathing suits for large bottoms with holes cut through the bottoms and not think it’s a sin to show too much skin?  A priest, probably.  But a normal healthy guy would love it.  In fact, if you are worried about your butt being too large, rest assured, the more men can see of your butt the less they will care as to it’s size.  Unless it’s the size of a small mountain.

Let’s say you have a large bottom and you need a bathing suit.  So you go look at bathing suits for large bottoms but all are very revealing.  When trying them on you asked yourself if it’s really a sin to show too much skin.  It can’t be or they wouldn’t be selling those darn bathing suits now, would they?  That’s right.  If the manufacturers and designers of such swimwear for large bottoms were terrified of committing a sin, don’t you think they’d only be making bathing suits of yesteryear, when they came complete with little ruffled skirts and knickers and bloomers and short sleeve tops?  It’s only a sin to show too much skin if you think it’s a sin.  Did the church say you couldn’t show skin?  Of course, back when all those sins came into being, there were bigger things to worry about like coveting a neighbor’s wife or stealing.  Bathing suits didn’t exist back then.  People just walked right through the parted waters of the Red Sea.  It wasn’t until the discovery of Florida and built in pools that bathing suits were invented.  Show as much skin as you dare!  You can always go to confession later.  If you are married and your husband objects, tell him he can’t wear his thong to the beach.  What’s good for the goose, is good for the gander they say.

Jeans for Large Bottoms: Do You Want to Look Like J-Lo?

Jeans for Large Bottoms:  Do You Want to Look Like J-Lo?

 

When looking for jeans for large bottoms, do you want to look like J-Lo?  Well, I heard she does have a million dollar ass.   At least, insured for that much.  It’s how she makes her money, shaking it while dancing and lip syncing.   Hey, if Keith Richards can insure his middle finger for over a million bucks, why can’t Jennifer insure her butt for the same?  Just because she can’t flip someone with her bottom doesn’t mean it’s not insurable!  If you wanted to look like J-Lo and could with jeans for large bottoms, would you also insure yours?  Do you think it would be worth as much as Jennifer’s?

When buying jeans for large bottoms, ask yourself if you want to look like J-Lo.  After all, she was most recently voted most beautiful woman in the world by People magazine.  In April of 2011, that is.  So why wouldn’t you want to look like J-Lo?  Wouldn’t you want to look like the most beautiful woman alive?  Keep in mind while she might have a large bottom, the rest of her figure is awesome, and she shakes her booty to make it happen.  Can you dance like J-Lo?  Can you shake your booty and make those jeans for large bottoms work for you?  Try it out.  If the answer is “yes”, go for them.  If you look like an overweight, large bottomed fool, leave the jeans for large bottoms to the Jennifer Lopez of the world.  Or, buy them and wear them but don’t try to look like her.  Look like yourself.  We can’t all be Jennifer Lopez and sit next to Stephen Tyler on American Idol.  But we can be a contestant and come close!  So wear your jeans for large bottoms and practice your singing.  Who knows?  You could be the next American Idol!

How to Get Large Hips: What About Cheap Padded Pants?

How to Get Large Hips:  What About Cheap Padded Pants?

 

You’ve been cursed with small hips and want to know how to get large hips to have that sexy Christina Hendricks or Jennifer Lopez look.  What about cheap padded pants?  Would that do it?  Anything padded would give you something bigger in whatever area is padded.  Padded bras give you a bigger bustline.  Padded shoulders give you – well, they give you lumps on your shoulders.  Padded pants give you a butt and hips when you don’t have much of anything there.   And padding is great.  When you sit, it’s like sitting on a built in cushion.  You save money on seat pads.  Think of it – a two in one device built in to your pants!

So if you are wondering how to get large hips, what about cheap padded pants?  In fact,t he cheaper the better, in my opinion.  That way you can get several pairs – something for every occasion.  Padded pants for work, padded jeans, padded shorts and capri pants, too!  No need to sit on the comfortable sofa, either – you’ve got built in comfort for sitting in your pants!  Plus, you’ve got a butt and hips for Jennifer Lopez to die for!  Large hips can be had by wearing cheap padded pants, and the guys will be paying so much attention to your large hips they won’t even notice the pants are cheap.  Unless they split because they are padded and stretching the material.  Keep a threaded needle handy just in case.

Small Corner Basins For Cloakrooms: Useless Investment?

Small Corner Basins For Cloakrooms:  Useless Investment?

 

If you work somewhere, as most employed people do, and your supervisor or boss talks about getting some small corner basins for cloakrooms, you think to yourself that it’s a useless investment in company money.  What does a cloakroom need with a small corner basin?  Or what does a small corner basin need with a cloakroom?  Indeed a useless investment.  Unless you have use of a small corner basin in a cloakroom.  Perhaps someone wants to wash their hands in the cloakroom rather than the bathroom.  Of course, in the U.K., a cloakroom is a bathroom.  In that case it makes sense.  In the U.S. a cloakroom is a place where you put your coat or cloak.  Whatever you wear, depending on where you are from.  I guess if you are from the U.K. you wear a cloak.  Or if you are from Romania or Transylvania and related to Dracula.

So, if you live in the U.K. or other place where a cloakroom is actually a bathroom, what about small corner basins for cloakrooms?  Are they useless investments?  In a bathroom you need a basin.  You need something in which to wash your hands after using the toilet.  It’s practically the law everywhere.  Warning!  Don’t leave this Cloakroom With Unwashed Hands! – you can just see the signs everywhere.  Small corner basins are perfect for small cloakrooms as they take up little space, yet still function as basins need to function.  Small corner basins run from the relatively inexpensive to the relatively moderately expensive.  In fact, some are so small you could fit four in one corner!  That means four people can wash their hands at the same time! It might be a bit awkward, but some could stand on the shoulders of others and everyone could reach a basin!  Think of the possibilities for that one!  No more waiting in line to rinse off!  Nothing that is needed is ever a useless investment.  And how can something that doesn’t even cost a hundred dollars be a useless investment for the businesses that use them?  Most rooms have at least four corners.  That four small corner basins you can get for a cloakroom.  I wouldn’t call that a useless investment.  It means four people simultaneously washing their hands, instead of one by one.  If it’s for the workplace, that’s a great investment.  If it’s for home, it’s also a good investment.  The kids don’t have to fight over who gets to wash whose hands first.  It’s a win win all around.  No matter what your reason for wanting a small corner basin for a cloakroom, because you need a basin in a cloakroom, it’s a good investment.  And that’s what counts in the end.  Hey, some even have vanity units attached!  So for a small downstairs cloakroom, go for a corner basin.  You won’t want to wash your hands of this one!

Corner Baths for Small Bathrooms: Under $100?

Corner Baths for Small Bathrooms:  Under $100?

 

When you live in a small house or even a bigger house yet have a small bathroom, do you want to look at corner baths for small bathrooms?  Do you want to find one for under $100?  I guess you could find a corner bath for small bathrooms for under $100, but wouldn’t a corner bath be a tight squeeze, even if it’s in a corner?  And what good would a little corner bath do you?  It would probably only be big enough to soak your feet in.  You can do that with a pan for two bucks!  A corner bath is a unique idea if you have a nice large bathroom and can get a corner bath large enough to soak your whole body in.  Or large enough to soak two whole bodies in.  Luxury at it’s finest.  And even if corner baths for small bathrooms run under $100, what about installing them?  Wouldn’t that run a lot more?

It’s your money.  You can waste it if you want.  But corner baths for small bathrooms, even if under $100, seem like a waste of time and money.  After checking out some corner baths online, most appear to cost over a thousand bucks.  And seem to be a fairly decent size.  So if you can find one for under $100, more power to you.  Just keep in mind it will cost far more than that to install it.  Wouldn’t a corner shower work just as well, for less money overall?  These corner baths still look awfully small, even if they are spa baths and fairly deep.  You could sit in a crouched position in one.  What fun is that?:  A bath needs to be big enough for two for fun.  Take that $100 and buy an inflatable pool with a screen to fence out curious neighbors and have all the fun you want on a nice, hot summer’s day.

Thigh Tattoo Designs for Women: In Honor of Your Ex-Spouse?

Thigh Tattoo Designs for Women:  In Honor of Your Ex-Spouse?

 

So, you’re thinking about those thigh tattoo designs for women you saw at the tattoo place the other day.  You want to get one in honor of your ex-spouse?  My question is why?  What did he do to deserve this honor?  He’s your ex, remember?  Now, if he were your dead spouse that might be appropriate.  It would be a great tribute to him.  But suppose you want to marry again someday.  Would your soon to be new husband want to see you with “HARRY FOREVER” tattooed across your thighs?  Or a beautiful rainbow tattoo with the words, “Harry, you color my world”, written across it?  Why did you marry someone named Harry in the first place?   Why would you want to get a thigh tattoo design that would honor your ex-spouse?

There are many thigh tattoo designs for women.  There are many tattoo designs for women for all of their body parts, pretty much.  To get one anywhere in honor of your ex-spouse is just masochistic.  Isn’t getting a tattoo masochistic enough?  Why add pain to pain?  Unless you are hoping to lure your ex-spouse back in to your arms.  Never mind that he’s since moved on and remarried and has four children with his new wife.  Especially because you divorced ten years ago.  He’ll surely come leaping back in to your life once he sees that tattoo on  your thigh in his honor.  Don’t forget, though.  Women fight fire with fire.  His present wife just may get a bigger tattoo in Harry’s honor.  One with a picture of his newest baby.  Try topping that one!

Williams Luxury Diamond Day Cream: A Waste of Money $40?

Williams Luxury Diamond Day Cream:  A Waste of Money $40?

 

You’ve heard of Wiliams Luxury Diamond Day Cream.  Do you think it’s a waste of money for $40?  How many products sell for that price and don’t deliver?  Too many, in my opinion.  The stuff Judith Williams sells is all expensive.  She says she grew up in a family of artists.  Con artists is probably more likely.  Sticking something with a name like Luxury Diamond is a ploy to get women to buy it.  You might think you are putting the equivalent of luxurious diamonds on your skin.   And day cream?  I guess that means you also have to buy night cream, too.  There goes another forty bucks.

Williams Luxury Diamond Day Cream is a waste of money for $40.  It’s got a list of ingredients a mile high – all of which have names that sound like something that belongs in your skin or body.  Apparently there are real diamond particles in the product.  Most likely diamond dust.  Dust that got on her diamonds which she bought with the money made from selling this stuff.  All she has to do is wipe of the dust and call it diamond dust.  Or diamond particles.  That’s what gives you the “shine”, which in turn makes you look younger.  Most likely it makes you look like a radiant fool.  Who goes around putting diamond particles in day cream?  So what’s in the night cream – sapphire particles?  Perhaps an all over cream with particles from every gemstone known to women.  Words like “collagen” float around her website.  That’s always a good “skin” word to use.  An increase in activity of SOD enzymes.  What are SOD enzymes?  I don’t know, but they sure sound important!  And if the diamond particles and  use of the day cream activate those SOD enzymes, apparently something is happening.  I just don’t want to pay $40 to get my SOD enzymes moving.  Do you?

Cavislim Cavitation Reduce Body Fat and Cellulite: A Load of Hot Air?

Cavislim Cavitation Reduce Body Fat and Cellulite:  A Load of Hot Air?

 

You have  heard recently about Cavislim Cavitation to reduce body fat and cellulite and wonder, “Is this a load of hot air, or what?”.  After all, many things claim to help you reduce body fat and cellulite, and all of them seem to be all claim and no delivery.  Makes you want to sue the companies sometimes, doesn’t it?  Apparently it’s a surgery free method of reducing body fat and cellulite.  Is it a load of hot air?  Most likely, especially if it doesn’t involve exercise or surgery.  From clothing and creams to ultrasound devices – sounds like a combination doctor’s office, clothing store, and dairy shop.  How will all this stuff reduce body fat and cellulite?  Probably by taking all your money till you don’t have enough to buy food and can’t eat.  That’s one good way of reducing body fat!

Cavislim Cavitation Reduce Body Fat and Cellulite is just another brand name for a product that promises reduction of body fat and cellulite with out resorting to surgery.  It is a load of hot air.  After all, who wants to go under the knife to get rid of cellulite if a product will do the same without invading your body and at a much lower price.  Then again, considering the Cavislim Cavitation machine cost nearly eight hundred bucks for the basic one, surgery may be a less expensive alternative.  The excel and advanced models can run up to almost two thousand bucks!  Oh yes, it comes with gels and creams.  Why not just buy their shorts?  They are allegedly claiming to do the same for your cellulite and body fat.  Only much, much cheaper.  And better looking, too.  If you check out the website you’ll see the ultra trim model holding the machine.  Remember – she’s a model.  Not the end product.

Jumpsuit and Rompers For Women: Will You Be Stylish?

Jumpsuit and Rompers For Women:  Will You Be Stylish?

 

You went shopping the other day at one of those outlet centers.  There, you saw a great selection of jumpsuit and rompers for women.  They looked so comfortable and….rompy!  You wondered if you bought one or more, would you be stylish? You’re only as stylish as you feel, remember.  And, if rompers and jumpsuits for women are not in style, bring them to the style forefront.  Wear them and make them look good!  Add some embellishments, some stylish and trendy jewelry to your look.  And a jumpsuit – you can look very sexy and shapely in a jumpsuit!  Make sure to cinch the waist to show off your figure.  Jumpsuits can either look like janitor’s coveralls or make you look like you have an hourglass figure.  Rompers are usually associated with clothing for relaxing and hanging out – something to “romp” in.  So romp – look as if you’re ready to romp home with the nearest good looking guy.  Deliver a look in those rompers that says, “I’m here and ready to romp with you!”.  Just make sure if you are married the message is sent to your spouse rather than your next door neighbor.

Don’t discount jumpsuits and rompers for women just because you wonder if you will be stylish.  You’re as stylish as you make yourself.  And you can make yourself very stylish in either a jumpsuit or a romper.  Or, if you don’t want to send that “come hither” look you can buy them and not worry about style.  Just wear them as if you were the saggy baggy elephant.  Who knows?  Even that might be considered stylish among your female friends and acquaintances who are tired of getting hit on every time they go to take the dog for a walk.  Perhaps wearing a romper or jumpsuit will say that you are casual and like to have fun and wear relaxed clothing to go with your casualness and fun.  Now, an outdated jumpsuit or romper might night look so stylish.  If it’s one you can picture your mother wearing, it’s probably not for you.  Unless your mother looks like your identical twin.  One thing to remember when  you purchase that jumpsuit or romper is they are one piece outfits.  You can wear a top underneath a romper or jumpsuit, but the piece of clothing itself is still a one piece piece of clothing.  Don’t get stuck in a situation where you desperately need to use a bathroom and can’t get the darn thing unbuttoned quickly enough – or the zipper gets stuck.  Make sure the romper or jumpsuit is easy to remove for ease of bathroom use.  That’s the most stylish thing you can do with a romper or jumpsuit.

Applying for Low Income Apartments in New York: Only for Immigrants?

Applying for Low Income Apartments in New York:  Only for Immigrants?

 

You want to apply for low income apartments in New York, and notice that everyone else applying appears to be or sound Hispanic or Jamaican or Scottish which makes you wonder if the low income apartments in New York are only for immigrants.  Now, no one is being racist or one of those “America is for Americans” people.  New York, especially, is known as the “melting pot” of our country.  All nationalities live in New York, especially in New York city, which is comparable to a mini United Nations.

If you start applying for low income apartments in New York, and find you are being turned down time and again, you could ask if the units are only for immigrants.  Even if they aren’t, it might put the fear of God or the government into the hearts and heads of those running the low income apartments and next thing you know, suddenly there will be a wonderful, roach free, low income unit for you or you and your family!  Perhaps they just aren’t familiar with rental laws?  Of course, I’m not familiar with New York rental laws, either.  For all I know low income apartment rentals are just for new immigrants to this country.  If that’s the case, they’ll be fairly empty soon if the  Republicans have their way and get rid of all immigrants and stop allowing immigration to the U.S. unless you can contribute millions or billions of dollars to the economy.  Who do you think would stand a better chance of getting in – Prince Harry or Jose Sanchez?  Who is Jose Sanchez?  I have no idea – but we all know who Prince Harry is.  Trouble is, the upper crust of immigrants wouldn’t want to live in low income apartments anywhere.  If, when applying for low income apartments, you find out they are only for immigrants, it’s time to become an immigrant.  You could say you are from Middle Earth.